( I fixed my graphics comm )

As I was re-coding, I reminisced my muses and how my graphics evolve around them. I've been doing graphics since a very long time as just a side hobby, but got more serious in iconing during my Adam Lambert fandom period. Back then, my muse was Tommy. It was 2009 - 2010 when I was still mainly using LiveJournal, my graphics was not good so I don't think I will go back that far to fix and restore my old graphics comm where all my Tommy arts are. Tommy wasn't a very popular icon subject, and that pushes me beyond my comfort zone to create all sorts of fannish things surrounding him. I did a decent job. I made many-many icons, a fanmix, picspams, etc. He was a cute glitterbaby. My first 'real' fandom experience ever.

( other fandoms )

Now two years apart, I got into BTS focusing on V. To be honest, I'm struggling. There are a lot of factors that contribute to this. One, I had two years break from Photoshop. I haven't been creating or learning anything new. The trend in the icon community changed a lot. I feel so old still clinging to icon styles from years ago. Two, I am very new to the fandom and have very small amount of resources. I need to dig in deeper, scour different parts of the internet and watch TONS of past videos to get my way around. Google is my friend, but there are only so much things you can find via google without base knowledge. It's 4+ years worth of fandom materials, I don't think I can ever catch up. Three, Tae is pretty, but I love him for his personality more than his looks (unlike previous cases). I disagree with many of his personal choices especially in styling and fashion. They hurt my eyes. And feelings lol. Or am I just old and I couldn't understand current fashion trend? I wish the kids have stylists to guide them even during off times or at least when going to the airport when they know, all eyes are going to be on them. But V would disagree with that idea for sure. He's such a free spirit, we should just let him choose what he wants or he wouldn't be himself.

Photobucket really gave me headache with this change. I said before that I don't care that much, but it turns out that what people are saying is true, we can't even download our own images off of their site. I thought it was just a temporary problem/glitch back then when they just imposed the new terms and conditions. The rush of people trying to access their accounts at the same time caused the error. But no, even now, months after, I always get that "hmm something didn't click" message. I tried accessing the site with different IP address, different browser, still nothing! Not even individual right-click-save works on their site.

( I tried many alternatives but... )

I haven't done anything to fix the broken images I hosted on Photobucket. They look unpretty, but I'm pretty sure no one is visiting any of my blogs so I don't feel the urgency to fix everything immediately. It's just too much work, too much hassle. Photobucket has been changing their terms and conditions several times over the past decade I've been using it and to be frank I never read any of their emails (moreover their latest terms and conditions). I noticed the broken images on my blog and thought that I have gone over my bandwidth for the month. I thought that is weird, considering the pics I hosted there are tiny mood theme items and icons, there is no way my blog generated so much views that my account ran out of the free bandwidth. Normally when you ran out of bandwidth, the pictures you hosted on PB will be replaced temporarily with their placeholder image, and will be back when the bandwidth quota is reset at the beginning of the next month. However, this time the placeholder images aren't going away, I checked the P500 thing they demanded me to upgrade to just to find out the price for that plan is $39.99 per-month which is too expensive. I gave up and just let my broken images as it is while I think of the best way to fix this. I was a paying customer for a couple of years but for the most times I was just a freeloader so I knew a time like this would come. EVERYTHING now comes with a subscription plan and Photobucket is no exception.

It was only after I googled 'photobucket alternative' that I realized how big of a problem this was worldwide. I know people hotlink images to forums and blogs, but didn't know that people also linked images hosted on Photobucket on sites like ebay and even Amazon. I could see why PB made this decision, they've operated since 2003, hosted billions of images and 75% of their expenses is to pay server fee for images uploaded on free accounts. It's never easy to change policy and make people pay for what used to be a free service. There will be outrage. There will be complaints. But as I mentioned above, I don't care that much. It was a free service and I was enjoying benefits without paying or seeing any ads for years. I knew that things wouldn't be free forever. They could've notified their users beforehand, yes. They could've provided a better pricing plan, I agree, but I don't feel like I have the right to be outraged when something I used for free suddenly goes away.

( Well the first is more of a frustrating, unsettling, and upsetting RL news )

On other news, today on facebok I found posts from some of my online friends about our old blogging platform that was about to shut down. They transformed from social media blogging service to just focus on e-commerce because apparently, that part was the most active especially in Indonesia and the Philipines. Wow, how different it has became. I tried several blogging sites and I settled for that one for quite some time (2004-2009). I got annoyed by how everyone friended everyone, it became a race to get the most friend or promote stuff on other people's wall. It ruin the fun for me so I left. I haven't settle with anything else since, I post in a lot of different places, I use twitter, facebook, tumblr, livejournal, blogspot, wordpress and now I settled myself here. But every blog I've ever wrote or post anything in has a trace of me. And it's kinda sad to know that they're closing (or transforming into an online market - whatever). Especially I used to put everything about my life on there - EVERYTHING. From stuff that I make myself to music that I listen to, from photos of my house to photos with friends and family, from fandom stuff to real life rants and stories aaahhh... I miss it. Sometimes I look for something that I remember I post there, and I have to go through several pages to finally find it. At times I got lost in my own posts, reading through my memories of the past and stories of the old times. The site might go down - but the memories won't.

This is a decision that I *might* regret later on. Not because it's a bad one, but because I know, this decision might lead me to something I can't control. I can only hope I wouldn't be crazy obsessed about it. Yesterday, I've offered my help for one of Sharon Needles fan blogs on tumblr, fuck-yeahsharonneedles. There are a lot of fan blogs of hers, but this is the one I've been following. Plus, looking at the page they already have 4 people as their group members, which means there is a big possibility that they'll let me in, rather than if I apply to help to a one man blog. So I observe the blog to check who is in charge amongst the 4 of them, whom I could message to beg to join? Hmm. I decided to send a message to a girl who seemed to post the most. She has no problem with me joining, and a couple hours later ... I was in.

I actually have some advices to these kids though. I'm a fuck yeah blog veteran so I know my way around it.

( taxcha's wise words )

(1) On Blogging
Yesterday I was re-visiting my old blog(s). Some of the entries are so much fun to read I was seriously considering to import my blog content from LJ to DW.
( But soon I realized, I didn't want it. )

So yeah, I'd rather start a fresh new blog with a more positive attitude and forget about the dark past lol.


(2) Help! I might be obsessed with Sharon Needles!
I started watching season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race without any expectation. I didn't try to find out who the contestants are beforehand, I didn't try to remember when the show will premier, I wasn't even sure if I'm going to watch it. Either I think that this season might be shitty, or IDK I was scared that I'm going to be overly obsessed about it just like last year.
( turns out )

AAAND today is the airing of second episode!!! AAAAAHHHH *runs around in circle in excitement* Though I probably wouldn't be able to see it until I'm off work (or worse tomorrow, or even worse til the download link appears which is only god knows when) *sobs*.

I might will start using creepy icons of her and start making picspams of 'Sharon Needles moments' episode review or something.