21 June 2014 @ 09:01 pm
I was so shocked yesterday morning when I saw my phone and I got a notification of an ONTD post which announced the passing of Maddox. It broke my heart, it was all I got in my head all day yesterday and today, too. I couldn't believe this, everything happened so fast.

I felt bad for being such an entitled fan. I didn't complain, but I was disappointed when I could no longer find his What's The T videos, not knowing the reason he was not posing anything was because he was battling cancer. I don't know him personally, obviously, I've only seen him in YouTube videos, but even only through videos you could feel that he is such a positive energy. When you see him it's impossible not to feel delighted and happy. His laugh used to make me smile and brighten my boring, monotonous days. I was always looking forward to his new videos.

In his last video, he already looked so much thinner than he already was. But he kept his positive energy, and he mentioned that he's going to make more videos and he promised us that he's going to win this battle.

I just watched his video on Tuesday, he passed away Thursday night. So sudden and so sad. This feels weird, I think this is the first time I experience losing a YouTuber that I love. I used to watch him a lot, and now he's just gone... My heart is with his family and friends.
Current Mood: sad
14 May 2014 @ 06:57 pm

I do this all the time. My earliest memory of talking to myself was when I was in kindergarten, the awakening 'Helen Keller' moment when I realized that I was a being with my own mind (when does people usually experience this? I was a late bloomer). It was at school, in the long aisle that connects kindergarten with higher level schools. I started to talk to myself more often after that, I guess.

The second turning point was in high school, 3rd grade. My English teacher (whom I love so much) told us in the class, that if you want to excel in foreign language (English) try thinking in that language. And so I did. Not only thinking but also talking out loud. To myself. I am by no means very good in English, but I do train myself to get used to think in English and I believe that helped my fluency a lot over the years. I also blog in English, if that's not obvious enough.

And about talking to yourself thing. I've lived abroad alone for a long period of time, and it felt so lonely I talked to myself more in my Japan era. Sometimes, I do it in public unconsciously and when that happens, I usually whisper 'stop talking to yourself!' as if it would help.

I still do it all the time though. I sometimes refer to me and my conversation partner as 'we' or 'us'. And I was also that conversation partner. I feel like Gollum.

I also talk to the mirror.

IDK, I don't think this is weird at all, it's just what some people do when they're alone or lonely I guess. (Okay, I am weird but I'll try my best not to do this in public, I promise)
Current Mood: exanimate
10 June 2012 @ 02:01 pm
Wow, I just found out today that one of my favorite YouTube British musicians/group is going to be on TV!! They're playing a comedy show with some mix of music, I guess. Excited!! I know what I'm going to be watching next month :D (... if it's available online)
Current Mood: refreshed