If I could say one thing about this: it's good in theory.

In theory, all ARMYs want to cherish good memories of Bangtan and their achievements over the years. It's not like we're not already doing that, there are accounts in different platforms making content lists, wikis, databases, and even websites. There are abundant sources of past events.

Now, Big Hit wants to make it a game? Officially? IDK what they're doing and then they announced this ARMYPEDIA thing out of nowhere. I was hyped at first, especially because of the giant QR codes billboard placed in 7 different cities all over the world. We're to work together to finish the puzzle! Fun! ... Until it's not.

They mentioned that this event will run for 4 weeks and there are 2080 pieces of puzzles to find. It means for 4 weeks we have to find, scan, answer question and make post for each QR code averaging in 70 codes a day. Who actually have time for that?!?!?

There's also an offline event for ARMYs, which... IDK maybe involves activities like finding the codes in the wilderness or something.

In practice, I was already overwhelmed since day 1. I don't know how many codes ARMYs found & shared in day 1 only, but it felt like hundreds of codes were just flying before my eyes. They're all over my twitter timeline, on instagram, on different websites, on YouTube, just ... everywhere. Day 1 people were still competitive and many actually did the task dilligently. But then, the site began to get cluttered with spam and low quality posts, people are complaining about the questions, and I think many just gave up (or never start like me!).

The next days were worse. They seem to realize that there aren't enough time to get ARMYs to solve this huge puzzle, so they began to give out a ton of codes in one post. It's crazy and very overwhelming. Also I'm just tired of seeing QR codes and I have short attention span. I'm so ready for this to be over already so we can move on to different things. Because like.... what do we get out of this? What reward is behind this or what the purpose of the program isn't exactly clear, so other than points and ranks among thousands of ARMYs out there who are playing the game... what do we get? I mean if it has something to do with the upcoming comeback, I might consider participating. Almost every recent post on ARMYPEDIA twitter has more negative responses than positive ones. Everyone basically just want it to stop by now.

Namjoon posting on twitter telling us to write about our days on ARMYPEDIA plus the upcoming ARMY Run event probably will boost participation a little, but I honestly don't see how everyone will stay on board with this game/whatever until the end. I personally will just sit this one out entirely. I'd rather dedicate my time and energy to see new episodes of BTS Run, see BTS doing new stuff, focus on comeback announcements, plan my trip for LY shows, etc. I already don't have enough time as it is.

So there were 2 great news from today/yesterday in the KPop world. One, ITZY got their first win, making them the fastest group to ever achieve this feat. Two, it is reported that TXT's debut album reached 100,000 pre-orders in just 3 days.

And yet people's reactions are quite negative for the seemingly happy news.

The argument is about the same, people don't think they deserve it.

With ITZY, a lot of people don't like the debut song and say that if it's any other group coming up with that song, it wouldn't even chart let alone win a music show. THEY'RE ONLY 2 DAYS OLD! IT'S BIG THREE PRIVILEGE! People are saying they can't appreciate the win because this group didn't even have to work hard to get it. They keep comparing with other groups that have been in the industry longer and are never warranted a music show win despite their consistently good releases.

Music show wins don't always correspond to your personal taste, I don't understand why people are complaning. EXO's first win was with Wolf. Nothing is worse than Wolf. Music show wins are based on numbers. ITZY pulled crazy numbers for a rookie group and Dalla Dalla is really high on the charts. We can't deny that they're gaining attention and that many people actually likes them.

With TXT, people say this is just a bunch of ARMY blind-stanning BTS' brother group. ARMYs are contradicting themselves because they keep talking shit about 'Big 3 privilege' and constantly hating on/not supporting of groups from the Big 3. I don't get it. So ... they're saying no-one should pre-order because we don't know anything about this group yet except for their faces? We haven't heard their voices yet, we don't know the kid's ability, skill or talent, and we don't know what their songs are going to sound like. We should stan talent, not pretty faces so if you're pre-ordering you're officially a Big Hit stan. What.

Pre-order is not a new concept, we all pre-order our fave/ult groups all the time without knowing or questioning how the songs in the new album will sound like. Including debut albums. People aren't buying albums for the music, who actually pop the CD in a CD player? Not me. It's a memorabilia.

I say this all the time, but fandom experience is different for each person. It's extremely personal to me. I am following TXT and keeping my eyes closely on them but I don't pre-order their CD, that is a personal decision I make for myself.

If other people decides to be a TXT stan just from the teasers Big Hit had released, it's their personal choice for themselves and I see no problem with it at all. People could be into a group because of their looks, because of their songs, because of their company, because they want to support their debut, because they're BTS' brother group, any and all reasons are valid and personal, really. No reason is too shallow or even wrong. Stanning is about emotional investment and you can not make sense of feelings.

In the end, KPop is an industry with making profit as their main goal. If their marketing strategy works in a way some people doesn't agree with, then they're still winning.

Why can't we just be genuinely happy for these kids?

This is my first time observing awards season after my hiatus as a K-Pop fan and I don't remember it being this messy? Or did I just not pay enough attention before?

ARMYs (or any other fandoms in this context) take everything too seriously. Just sit back, relax, enjoy the fucking fandom, man. Mnet is a television network, they will award who they want to award. And to that, I say: whatever! There are a lot of interests, profits, pride, politics behind all this that we know nothing about. We don't even know who these 'industry professionals' on their panel are. They are promoting the ones who benefit them the most. Is Mnet using fans for clicks and hype? Of course. They're not dumb, and clearly, we are.

It's not that serious of an award show, I'd say just enjoy it. If your bias group gets anything out of it, great! If not, then at least we saw great performances by top-tier artists.

Online voting means NOTHING and no-one should ever get too invested in it. I honestly think voting should be removed starting from next year and Mnet can freely decide everything by themselves - no muss, no fuss. Less involvement of fandom = less mess. Fandoms will always think their faves are; the best, the most talented, worked the hardest, therefore they DESERVE it.

I think it is rude and very ungrateful of us fans to protest to Mnet, demand explanation every single time they make a decision that does not align with our agenda. They owe us NOTHING. The world doesn't revolve around BTS. Mnet as a platform has provided us with so many good contents, especially this comeback season. Do you really want them to turn their back on your faves, too?

I don't follow Twice and I looked up Signal for the first time only after song of the year announcement last night. The song is not my personal preference, but congrats. In all honesty, I don't think DNA "deserves it", either. ARMYs can sing their praises for DNA overlooking the fact that it didn't do that well domestically. It didn't reach all-kill status across platforms (if it did, it must be for a very short period of time - sorry I didn't do my research to be able to confirm with certainty). With the many other high profile releases during that period, it didn't even stay that long in the top 10 charts, and digital download number is obviously lower than Signal (or many other superior songs released in 2017). YouTube views, Billboard chart, and the fact that the song was performed in the US don't have anything to do with this award. The panel of judges for Mama can consist of people from the South Korean music industry, i.e. representing music platforms in which BTS didn't chart in.

One more thing, MAMA has a reputation as an attendance award show, do you really think they will give out awards to artists who weren't even there? No. So sit down! I'm hopeful that BTS will get something tomorrow at the very least for attendance (lol), and it will be awesome if they could get another daesang. Good? Good. They're in 4 categories.

Personally, I'm very proud and happy with SEVENTEEN winning male group dance performance award, I wanted them to win despite the votes, I've mentioned this several times. And if they win the best MV, I wouldn't mind either. I'm also happy for Monsta X for getting an award, even though it's not a major one. I'm wishing for everyone's success.

Oh, and you know what? There is even a possibility of Wanna One winning daesang(s). I know they just debuted in August, but they were born from a successful show broadcasted by Mnet which is a huge plus point, and nobody can deny the fact that they are taking the country by storm. They had their debut con at Gocheok Sky Dome! They became a million seller in only 4 months after debut. No other rookie can ever live up to their success. Explosive popularity, everyone in Korea knows who they are. Massive brand deals and their currently airing exclusive variety show is always in the Top 10 of Content Power Index. If this is not their year, then probably next year is. They also work round the clock. If they win, I wouldn't be mad.

I didn't get enough sleep and was late to the office again today (my boss noticed, too). I haven't taken care of myself well the last several days. I didn't eat properly, my house is a total mess with a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, pile of clothes on the floor, and many other trash scattered across the room. I used to have time in the morning to prepare for coffee and my lunch box to bring to the office, but I haven't been doing that for more than a week. I tried to do something to fix my life last night and I remember I put 3 pairs of shoes that had been on my doorway for a while, into the cupboard finally. It felt really hard to do. I remember I did eat dinner unlike the other days where I only feed myself with a bag of chips, some chocolates and youtube videos. I remember I slept at 2 AM, which is ... better than 4 AM.

I am distraught. I knew I would end up feeling like shit at work whenever I'm obsessed with something or found a new fandom to dig in. I tried to put my fandom dosage intake on a halt last weekend (... or two weekends before this? Memories are starting to blur together), but it felt really, really empty and sad. it felt like there was a hole in my heart. I felt like I was living a fake life creating a distance with something that I'm in love so much with and makes me happy. I didn't watch one video, I didn't even listen to their songs even if they're playing in the back of my mind and I kept humming the tunes. While I could function, it pains me to do that. I felt empty. I don't know what this is, it's an addiction I keep on feeding even though I know it's ruining my life. It's a distraction. I'm constantly thinking and worrying about life, so when these little kids, this fandom could make me laugh and forget about my problems, I could at least enjoy that feeling even for a short time. It is however, never 'a short time'. What was a 2 minutes video lead to hours of time on a night's end. That couple of minutes, or seconds, even, amuse me so much I keep on replaying it, again, again and again. There are so many things to learn! So many things to watch! So many things I need to know about these people!

Until a while ago I had dreams of traveling more, exploring parks and gardens, taking pictures of beautiful flowers, go to hobby show and hunt for local post office postcards. I had a goal to rank higher on postcrossing by the time I come back home. Now, that passion is almost completely gone. I couldn't care less about any and everything, I just want to be home watching my babies. I will be content as long as I have electricity, my computer, and a working internet connection. This is... exactly the same as my condition years ago when I was trapped in fascination of my first ever fandom. It was too exciting, too thrilling, I wouldn't want to miss a single second of it. I didn't eat, I didn't go out, I didn't do chores, it was ... not really living and yet it was one of the most exciting times in my fandom life.

( thoughts about past fandom )

Being a new fan 4 years after a band's debut means I have massive amount of materials to catch up with the whole fandom. The downside is, it could be a little overwhelming. The good thing is, I kept finding gold and gems while digging. While they're old, the entertainment value doesn't drop and each gem just makes me fall in love with the boys over and over again.

Yesterday I argued with a kid in the morning and I was left feeling uneasy all day. The whole my online life, I've argued with people from the internet a lot of times, and still it's not a fun thing to do. I'm the phlegmatic type who wouldn't speak up to avoid confrontation until it really really bugs me. This time it did.

( tl;dr )

FIANLLY FINISHED THIS POST OMGGG
first challenge entry for thefandomzoo

( Part 1 : Androgynous Male Model Andrej Pejic )

( Part 2 : RPF Pairing Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff )

So I shouldn't be writing this but here I am.

Like what I wrote on my last entry, I made my first tumblr graphics in a long time yesterday. I must say despite the fact that I haven't done any graphics for a while, my computer broke down, and I only had a couple hours to finish the entry, I am pretty satisfied and proud with the result. Granted, it could be better given a couple more days, but that was a luxury that I didn't have. I hope next time/challenge I can do better. Here it isss :


It kinda looks like painting/anything-thing, it meant to be a little distorted, grainy and not too ... shiny and smooth.

( and on andrej )

Looking back at my graphics life, I don't really remember how I got here. I do remember making stupid banners for my blog, designing a layout for my multiply page and doing manips of celebs. I vaguely remember editing pics for my blog entries but honestly, I don't know what I do before icons, it was such an eye opening experience.

I didn't really 'get' icon posts back then. I thought if people want icons, they can make it themselves, no big deal. I know I would make my own icons. At that time I was not in any particular fandom and was obscure to what purpose does a community on LJ serve.

( full story behind the cut )