Wow. I'm feeling so lonely right now. Not only in real life, but also in my online life. I used to have so many close friends and talk a lot to people whose faces I've never even seen.

I was wandering around DW today trying to find something, someone that I could relate to, some people with the same interests, or communities that I could participate in. Alas, I found nothing. Many potential communities are already left behind by their owners. I tried to look on LJ too, but it's the same.

Not finding any new challenges, I thought I should just fix my graphics comm layout, because the current one is hard to navigate. I traced my way back to my favorite layout communities just to find out that malionette has decided to close her community fruitstyle. Wow. It came as a shock to me even though I'm not close to her. She's so talented, her layouts are awesome. Each post she made had hundreds of comments. I commissioned her to make a thumbnail generator for tjrpics back in 2010. It just made it clearer to me how all the awesome graphics comms, old fandoms - everything that once made LJ a fun place to be - is now gone.

Eep! I might participate? But I don't know a lot about celebs so hopefully there are Tommy/Andrej pairing SOMEBODY PLEASE WRITE IT pairings that I can work on.

I've never attempted to apply to elite icon/graphics communities because I know I would get rejected and I don't respond nicely to rejection. I know my skills wasn't there yet, so I wouldn't bother trying until I'm ready.

With all the bad things that happened this week, I'm in desperate need of something to obsess with so yesterday I said 'fuck it' and just went ahead and applied for an elite community I've been wanting to join for so long, roughandtumblr. I didn't even think that much about the sample graphics I provided, I think, well, if I got rejected then I will practice more and apply again when I'm improved.

Today I woke up to an invitation to the community! YAY! One mod said no and two mods said yes. I got praised for my range of style and composition by a graphics maker whom I adore! I know I still need to brush up my skills, and I'm grateful that they gave me the opportunity to learn while participating in the community!

( on the sad news )

RL has been taking over most of my time. I miss Tommy, I miss Andrej, I miss RPDR, so I definitely will get back to my fandoms soon!