Hmmm

So like I said, I haven't been following Produce at all. If any, I was one of the people that disliked the series. I don't want to let myself getting hooked on survival shows and especially, temporary groups. And then Wanna One blew up. No one can deny their impact on the industry. MNet, learning that they can get even more money from these groups, extends the length of the temporary group's contract each year. IZ*ONE got 2.5 years, and the upcoming PDX101 group will be bound by a 5 years contract.

There are a lot of factors to be considered, and one of them is public fatigue. It's the 4th season, and like any other shows, no matter how successful the predecessors are, the public tends to get tired of the same concept after a while. I think the 5 year contract length also took away the exclusivity factor that made Wanna One super successful in a very short period of time. The fact that many people in the fandom are still attached to Wanna One and its members is supposed to be considered as well. Will the new season be able to attract at least the same amount of loyal fanbase as Wanna One? Because the ones still clinging to their old fandoms aren't going anywhere.

This is the first season I ever got myself into. I got hooked very easily. I have to admit that the format is very addicting. I was disappointed however, by the song choices for the group evaluation. I kept hearing good things about group stages and was hoping for another 'legendary' performance which sadly never came. The song choices are questionable, the kids aren't interesting enough to carry any of the songs.

Even then, I still love the kids and I cheer for them from the bottom of my heart. I might not be part of the core fandom, but I do hope for their success and I'm watching the show with special interests.

The thing that throws me off is the atmosphere in the fandom right now. I go to reddit expecting interesting, mature discussion around the show. However, it seems like most of the people in Broduce fandom has collectively decided on how much of a failure this season is. I get that people are disappointed after expecting certain things to happen based on how glorious Season 2 was, but this continuous negativity is really not making the fandom a fun place to be in. They keep critiquing the top 10/11 saying things like how talent-less the kids are, even first place trainee is lacking training period, there are too much baby trainees, couldn't understand why Mingyu is popular, etc etc. I felt like there's almost no positive reactions towards the Top 10, 60-80% of which will definitely get to debut at this point. Yeah sure their face is not to your liking because taste in human beauty is relative, but there surely is some good qualities to them that you can support? Do you hate positivity that much, you see nothing but the bad in them?

I mean c'mon. I know Mingyu is far from perfect, his dancing is TERRIBLE. He can't dance. But if you watch the show, you can tell how much effort he made to keep up with others, the good mannerism that he has, his eagerness to be active in class, his articulation when he talks, his politeness, etc. This is what keeps him in the top, people resonates with him.

And accusing Hyeongjun of faking his breakdown? Man, he's just a kid, leave him alone. His hyungs, the literal people who spent countless hours with him actually adore him and they believe in his sincerity and innocence. How do these fans, the people who watch only glimpses of what they've been through on their TV screens, have the audacity to judge that the crying he did was 'fake' or 'unnatural'. Yes, he is weird, he is awkward, he talks with an accent, and is a little bit slow. His uniqueness is what draws people to him, and even his hyungs love him for that and voted him for the visual center interview.

Saying that Dohyun is a useless baby? He is funny and very talented! Which is why he got the A ranking during the initial evaluation. Again, he's a weird, awkward kid but let's give him a chance to grow. Why are we judging solely based on age? He may be one of the youngest contestants, but he's experienced two survival shows and he's one of the most promising trainees in there.

Too many Starship boys! And they are bad! Is it really their fault that they have a loyal following even before debut? If you're that annoyed, support your boy, then. Everyone works hard to be where they are for their effort to be dismissed.

Now that the line-up is smaller, I hope people can get to know the remaining trainees better and warm up to them. I don't know if I'm just being extra defensive because I love these trainees especially Mingyu and Hyeongjun, and I adore their cute friendship. Yes, I know they're lacking, but I'm supporting them to be better and get the chance to grow. Looking at these comments make me sad. I'm one of the rare people who has never seen PD101 Season 2 and the way people keep comparing the two just annoys me.

Anyway! Other trainees that intrigued me is; Baek Jin. He bleached his hair and man, he looks like a fairy now. His b-boying skill is amazing. One more kid whose face I like is Song Changha. He's out though, RIP. He's from Kiwi Media which is home to GWSN that I also like. We couldn't get to know Changha because the lack of screentime, but he's cute.

It's only on Episode 3 and it's already affecting me negatively.

Last Friday my plan to hit the gym fell through so I ate to break my fast in the office (the food was too salty) and then went home. I was just chatting with Christine and then I thought, hey, I could watch PDX101 live right now! Surprisingly, everything worked well, the streaming site worked, my internet connection was also much better than other days which is basically a miracle. So there I was, watching the third episode, live, for 2 friggin hours. Not caring about my sleep schedule even though it's currently Ramadan which means I have to be up for suhoor at 4AM.

Episode three is ... okay, but the songs they chose for the team battle are disappointing. The concept is, they pick top tier boy groups in the K-Pop world, and then they pick two songs; their debut song and their newer song (not even the latest smh). The songs are... challenging, which is probably the point of the battle, and debut songs are even more because let's face it, most of these were not successful debut songs. EXO's debut song was from 2012, and BTS' from 2013, 5+ years ago, with a concept they long have ditched, and they didn't even do well back then. It's incomparable to Wanna One's or NU'EST W's debut songs which are from recent years. Especially Energetic was a MASSIVE success, multiple music show wins and chart reigns.

Anyway, kids have to these songs, right. Man I'm already irritated while writing this hahaha. Of course there will be twists and drama about internal conflicts and different dynamics etc.

I think I just have to go back to my principle of not reading comments? I wasn't even really active but I did actively seek out discussion posts to fulfill my emotional addiction.

Things I'm disappointed about:
- When I realized that I have irrational hate/negative view of some of the trainees when they all are just trying their best. Especially when it's over something stupid like how they look or their age or other things that are out of their control. That is not wise. I should support them all! I should not have emotional attachment! I should not have cared this much!
- When I realized how one performance of a contestant could affect me so much. Listen, Mingyu is a good kid. Yes he's pretty, yes he's trying really hard, but one other fact about him is, that he can't dance. He just can't. There's no way he can improve his dancing in a very short period of time with an extra difficult song to practice on. He's a lost cause. I knew that, but somehow looking at how badly he's dancing from his fancam affected me a lot. I'm so disappointed it makes me sad and makes me no longer want to watch the show. Why? What is this emotional attachment? I suppose to be here just to have fun.

BTS is still my ult group, but one month after the last comeback, the hype dies down and I was getting a little bit bored, a little bit tired of the fandom. I thought I'd give PDX101 a watch, and apparently I had forgotten that I am easily obsessed and when I got obsessed, it's bad.

PDX101 has 2 episodes aired so far, and it was basically nothing. Just introduction episodes with initial grading and some clips of the kids practicing. Kim Min Kyu has intrigued me so much I was trying to find out more about him. This is how you fall into the rabbit hole. Once you do this, of course you're going to find more. A LOT MORE. There are X1-MA focus cam of 101 trainees, PR videos, audition videos, fancams of when they do public greeting and fashion show, discussion posts, hidden box mission, bonus clips on different platforms. This is endless amount of content. This is massive. I can't even tell their names yet. Honestly I can't wait until they cut like half of the trainees. I can't be bothered by learning all 101 names just to see them got cut?? However, I searched and based on how it went on season 2, it seems like the first round of elimination is not going to happen until episode 5. That's so far away.

So far, Mingyu and Yohan are constantly in the top 3 during both voting weeks. I must admit, the screen time and angel edit affected me a lot. I find it fascinating how Mingyu is portrayed as this elegant beauty, a diligent kid who likes to study. In reality, this kid is just stiff and boring. I watched his X1-MA focus cam, awful. He was so awkward I was laughing all the way. I watched his hidden box videos and he's basically very boring. He doesn't react to anything. When told to guess what's in the box and there was a LIVE OCTOPUS IN IT, he just grabs it and starts guessing like it was nothing. While Hyeongjun beside him shrieks and pulls his hand out repeatedly. Reaction makes good TV. When told to not drop the apple by holding it in the face with another trainee, he just... follows the instruction diligently. He's very pretty but that is not good TV. MEANWHILE, Yohan was going INSANE for that same challenge. He could not do this. He lets out high-pitched laughs and screams every time his partner gets close and needless to say, they fail miserably. And that was good TV, lol.

At first I wanted to support babies from UP10TION and VICTON but looking at the ranking, right now the visuals are winning, regardless of talent or skill or experience, which is kind of understandable. Honestly Seungwoo has EVERYTHING. He can sing, he can dance, he can rap, and he's super tall, too (184 cm). Now I get why he is the leader of Victon. However, being born in 94, he is in the range of older trainees, and he doesn't have a strong enough storyline to tell, I think? Other than he debuted with VICTON with moderate success. He seems like a diligent person who does everything well, we didn't get to know his personality because he got very little screen time. Now Wooseok. I don't know what is up with him, he probably just have a resting bitch face? Because he is very pretty with his sharp jaw and piercing cheekbone, but his expression never change. He's good but he didn't get that much spotlight, either. Jinhyuk didn't rank well despite his ability, fans just want pretty faces on the throne. Byungchan is also cute and tall and is doing well, but other than that, we haven't seen anything interesting from him. If these babies didn't make it til the end (Wooseok probably will), I hope at least their original group can get some recognition.

I'm so obsessed this is going to be the thing I look forward to the most every week. I'm so obsessed my google search and browser history is filled with PDX101 related things. Although this reminds me, at one point I was also obsessed with Stray Kids and Treasure Box, and now I have zero to very little care about them all. Granted, if they release any new music I still will give them a listen, and I love Stray Kids' last release. But I wouldn't go as far as attending their concerts. These other groups proved no matter how obsessed I am for them at one point, I still will go back to Bangtan, and Bangtan will always be my number one priority. I don't think I can do multi-fandom. I kept thinking if I should go to K-Pop concerts whenever groups I like are visiting, but with the 100 - 200 dollars worth of ticket I could direct the fund to my ongoing BTS-related wishlist. K-Pop fandom releases tons of things every year, this is why we can't afford to do multi-fandom.

Produce 101, the survival TV show, has been around for a while now. While I'm an observer of the K-Pop world in general, I hesitated watching survival shows. I don't watch Korean TV shows in the first place, with the exception of Music Shows. I just really don't want to be a full-on Koreaboo. K-Pop world is already overwhelming. I also think survival shows are kind of exploitative in nature, and no matter what happen on the show, I can guarantee that these shows WILL MAKE ME CRY.

I survived not watching survival shows for a while until... Stray Kids. I was obsessed with their pre-debut song Hellevator, and was intrigued enough to watch the show. It is not really a survival show to be honest, the eliminations was just a stupid plot. EVERYONE knew that all the kids will debut together. The show stabbed me in the heart and made me ugly cry nonetheless.

I cried watching the last episode of The Unit, even without watching previous episodes. I watched how the trainees were so happy to have made it into the debuting team, only to flop hard with their actual debut and especially following comebacks. The boy team did alright the first time, struggled with the comeback. The girl team struggled harder and now both are disbanded without leaving any marks in the industry.

And then I watched Treasure 13. Which is IDK. Yeah, YG's going to YG. The show was twist after twist after twist it was exhausting to follow. And now, months after the show ended, the kids are still nowhere to be found except for some photos on twitter or instagram. It was so confusing it was funny, ironic, and sad at the same time. To say I am frustrated about how the agency treated the kids is an understatement. Did I cry though? Of course.

I watched Under Nineteen because J-Hope guest-starred in it and I was quite intrigued I continued watching the rest of the season. Honestly I'm happy for the kids who made it, I think they all are really really talented and have a whole bright future ahead of them, but man, this industry is brutal. Their debut album sold 11K on Gaon and I don't think they made any splash with their title song because the timing of the release coincided with BTS' new album release (oof, that was a bad move). For this one, I don't remember if I cried but I most likely did.

My friend Febby got into K-Pop through Produce 48 which was where Produce series and the 48 franchise of Japan collided. She first watched Produce48. She enjoyed it so much she then went to watch the second season of P101 and got obsessed with Wanna One. She made me promise to watch the new Produce series so that we could talk about it, and here I am. I first watched the XI-MA(?) MV and I was just overwhelmed. I asked Febby a stupid question, 'they don't actually have 101 trainees, do they?' and she said 'no, they really do start with 101 trainees'. How am I going to know 101 people????? Even after the episode airs, I still was not convinced of whether I should watch this or not. I asked Febby if she watched it, and of course she did, and she told me to watch it.

By now, I've watched both episode 1 and 2 and I already have a pick. My pick is the same with everyone else, LMAO. Kim Mingyu. This is totally not based on skill, but solely on his looks and personality. He has this charm that is so strong literally every single person in the room fell for him once he enters the stage. He was given the worst grade (X) and he sincerely thanked the judges for his evaluation. When asked why is he grateful for being given the worst grade, without hesitation he mentioned that he is thankful for the opportunity of getting evaluated in the first place, because not everyone can experience that. Even though people are saying that he's the most good looking guy in the room, he is not at all smug about his looks. He is down to earth and so earnest while practicing. During the lesson, he always volunteer to count and or raise his hand to ask questions. He seems genuine and I love that about him. Although, it is a liiittle suspicious how from the start he 's already getting so much screen time without actually having any decent skills. Maybe Mnet's pushing a redemption arc on him, IDK.

After I wrote this entry I went home and watched his fancam for XIMA performance. And wow. It was awful. It was so clear that he does not have the sense to be a good dancer. He was dancing off-beat and his movements are so awkward it was painful to watch. Now I get why he was given grade X. I don't think he has good control of his body movements. So stiff. So awkward. He's trying hard to appeal the viewers with his charm even though he's fully aware that he's lacking skills, so he was smiling (grinning) THE WHOLE TIME which made it even more awkward (and creepy?). I couldn't see why Dongpyo got center position at first, but now I do. That kid's a natural. Mingyu is just tall and handsome, without the necessary skills, sense, or talent to thrive in this industry. I know he will be given time and opportunity to grow and improve, but based on his skills right now I would understand if he doesn't make it to the final line-up. He could make it if it's based on looks, personality, charm, and effort. He ranked first after the first episode, and third after the second.

In the second episode they highlighted the struggle of the trainees practicing X1-MA, both the song and the choreography for their first re-evaluation before shooting the MV. My shirt was soaked with tears as I was watching it.