Just like everyone, when I'm obsessed with something for a range of time I would be dedicating my time, energy, money, anything for the thing/person. But I always exploit my obsession up to the point where I'm sick of it. Now I can feel that the time has come for Postcrossing. I've been a member for about 10 months now and I've sent what felt like a thousand cards to different countries in the world.

I don't know why when my obsession expires I feel the need to make this long goodbye speech about it.

Anyway, this feeling is the result of some factors like; the exhaustion I got from trying to get everything right, the pressure of sending things fast and on time, the awful experience of holding a local postcrossing meet-up, and ... artist's block.

Having an artist's block is frustrating as hell. I want to feel happy by making art, but nothing I made satisfies me and I kept getting frustrated with everything for the last month. It started with a mixed media shopping spree that I did back in February with my birthday-month-discount at a scrapbook store. I purchased a very expensive thing called 'Creative Palette' from Stampendous, in hope of getting something similar to Gelli Art Printing Plate. I kept seeing tutorials on Gelli Art printing and it looks like an awesome tool with gorgeous results which allows tons of fun creativity. The sad thing is, that I can not get it here, and the shipping cost is too crazy if I order it directly from the US. So when I saw the Creative Palette, I was excited and I was so sure that this has the same quality as the Gelli Art one. But no. IT SUCKS. DON'T BUY IT. It dries your paint so fast you don't even have the chance to do anything with it. And when you apply so much paint, it's such a waste of paint! And the papers I used to make my prints stuck on the plate. I've tried so many ways, so many times and this product is just not working the way I need it to be. I've made so many failed prints which ... I'm sure I can incorporate for something in the future somehow, but it was still so frustrating. Yesterday I decided that I'm going to have fun by doing things that don't have anything to do with the monoprinting plate. It worked! I made some cards I thought are decent for sending out to people, I did some other fun techniques I haven't done in a while, and in the end I finally could enjoy art-making process again.

I'm going through another withdrawal which is ... my Korean class. I don't feel as motivated as before, and I keep thinking of all the negative things. I think the sonsengnim's pace is too fast, I don't feel like I fit in among the avid Korean fans, I'm not sure if this language skill will be useful in the future and I also think that maybe I'm just too old for this. There's no such thing as too late for learning something, I know. I just don't feel like I enjoy the class so much as before, and I don't know if this is just something I'm feeling now and not tomorrow or will this be something that will only get worse from now onward. I like to drive away negativity by telling myself that everything is just a state of mind and it depends on your point of view of things. Sometimes it works. Maybe I'm just bored.

On other note, I haven't changed my icons in a while and I am desperately needing new ones.