I have made up my mind.

So about a month ago when they announced the first line-up for KCon Japan, I was intrigued. They have Stray Kids(!!), Seventeen, Monsta X, and SF9 which I LOVE. I was wondering 'what if..', but immediately discarded my thoughts as I reminded myself that I was saving to renovate my parents' house.

And then, they added Pentagon and WANNA ONE(This group is not going to exist next year!). I explored my options and again contemplated to actually go to Japan, but the one that pushed me over the fence was the fact that BTS scheduled a hi-touch event for Face Yourself album ON THE SAME DAY, AT THE SAME VENUE as KCon's last day. THERE IS A CHANCE THAT I CAN ATTEND BOTH??? And then I checked again, BTS Japan Fanmeeting event is only 3 days apart from the hi-touch event, and even if I can't get ticket to get in, I can go line-up for goods and get myself the almost unobtainable ARMY bomb! PLUS! They're opening a new Line Friends Store in Harajuku which carries BT21 items so I can also get them while I stay in Tokyo!!!!!! Ideas ran crazy in my mind. I've been in a bad state of anxiety and depression lately, so I was happy to find myself being so passionate about something. I no longer care about my savings, my sister has went to Korea two times in the past 6 months, why can't I enjoy life like her? Why am I so hard on myself? I thought to myself, just consider this as a healing trip!

I did everything I could to actually realize this dream trip;
- I calculated the expenses
- I went to Japan travel fair to survey plane ticket prices
- I emailed a travel agent to get actual prices
- I checked on how to get Japan visa (they've changed the system since the last time I applied)
- I registered at immigration office site to apply for a passport
- I contacted my friend who lives in Japan to ask for her help to get tickets
- I registered myself on ticket Pia, ticket board
- I researched about past handshake events and how to apply
- I registered and paid membership on BTS Japan Official Fanclub and I ACTUALLY GOT IN!!!

The fanclub part drove me crazy, because even though they finished the raffle for fanmeeting tickets and it's not for public sales, THEY OPEN A NEW LOTTERY ROUND FOR unfortunate seats (side view or possible obstructed view to the stage). At this point, I DON'T EVEN CARE. If I can get in, this would be my first ever BTS Live event and I'M WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR IT. I immediately put my name in for the lottery.

I really want to make this trip happen and get myself the plane ticket before the price goes up, however I have to make sure that I have a passport first.

Last Friday, I took a day off from work to get in line for Passport at West Jakarta Immigration Office. My family resides in East Jakarta and we have always been making our passports in East Jakarta, but I couldn't get the number because the quota was full. So on Friday I went to West Jakarta Immigration Office early even though my slot was from 11:00. I waited about 1.5hr, and then when it's finally my turn, I mentioned to the document checker person that there was a mistake in my old passport. The birth month was wrong, and I hope that this time it would be corrected. And then to my surprise, the person said I can only apply for data correction at the original place I made the passport at. It was past 11 and I immediately got on a taxi to get to East Jakarta.

I got at the East Jakarta immigration office at around 12:20 which is of course, lunch break time. At 1 PM when they re-opened I mentioned to the staff that I was lining up at West Jakarta, but they said I have to go here because I need to request data correction. After several rounds of going to different people, they told me that they'll need to review the mistake and why it happened, and they said I have to get back there after I obtain a number to queue.

They can not say how long the data correction, or the new passport application will take. I looked up online of people with the same experiences and they mentioned that they'll have to go to court to apply for the permit to change passport data. I'm not sure if I will have to do this, all the data I submitted to them was right, the staff at the immigration center was the one at fault here. I hope I don't have to go to court. If I do, it'll take much more time because I have to apply for an available court date and wait until the date.

Anyway, I will not be able to go to the Immigration Office again until two weeks from now. I already got myself a number to get in-line at East Jakarta Immigration Office, but who knows what will happen then. Even if I get my passport, it'll be too close to the trip. I don't want to go through all the hassle of booking everything if I have to cancel later. I read the conditions on BTS fan club site, and they said when someone is chosen for a ticket lottery but that person doesn't pay, it'll affect that person's chance to get chosen the next time. I decided that the risk is too big. I decided that I will take my time to process my passport and Japan Visa, and go to Japan next time when everything is ready. BTS will come to Japan often. I will have my chance.

I canceled my lottery entry 2 minutes before it was closed, and I told my friend that I'm not going.

I'm writing this entry to assure myself that this case is really closed this time. I tried my best. There is nothing else I could do. I learned from this experience and there's no regrets.