I was on YouTube for more than half an hour then when I got to twitter, new tweets were flooding my timeline and it was circling around the news of Jonghyun's death. Like everybody else, my first reaction was 'NO, it can't be'. And then it slowly sink in on me and I started to cry.

SHINee was an big part of my KPop fandom journey. I saw them (minus Minho at that time) at SMTown Live, and soon after I was obsessed with them. I went to watch TV shows that they were on, buy their songs etc. I've always thought SHINee is a strong, solid group with a very successful career. They debuted at a very young age and their career is one of the most stable up until now. Each member has been given great opportunities for individual activities and growth. They have HUGE popularity. Jjong is one of the most talented singers in the idol industry.

This is why people always say, depression has no face. It doesn't discriminate.

I just wish we could've known sooner, I wish he would talk about it to his closest people... I kept asking why and I couldn't find an answer, I kept regretting how we all never knew that he's been in so much pain. He had so many people loving and supporting him, how is it none of us could prevent this from happening? If the idol life is what makes him suffer, we all would rather he retire from the industry entirely than to get news like this, it's so heart breaking.

May you rest in peace.