I woke up in a bad mood and it has continued throughout the day. I'm trying to analyze what is wrong, but there are too many factors that contribute to me ended up feeling like this, I think.
First, I am sick. I've been having sore throat and lingering cough for weeks. I don't have the time and or energy to arrange a doctor's visit at the moment and thought it would just go away, but it doesn't.
Second, I was forced to attend yet another company drinking party that I always dread to participate in. This time it's a farewell party for me and several other people who are leaving the division so I could not not come (I tried persuading the organizer to just go on without me. I failed. - They even arrange the schedule around me and Ramadan break fast time.). Honestly the cigarette smoke just worsen my already sore throat.
Third, I got heartburn last night from not eating properly because of the drinking party.
Fourth, lack of sleep because of the heartburn. This is really just a circle of doom.

And fifth, the last reason is because I'm fighting myself hard denying how bad I want to be at BTS' Saitama show right now. I know, I have so many reason not to go;
1. It's workday and I'm working until 17:30.
2. It's Ramadan and I'm fasting. Breakfast is not until 19:00, the show is on at 19:00. How do I break my fast in the middle of a concert crowd?
3. I got home late last night and I have a class to prepare tomorrow, I can't afford to go home late again today.
4. I have neither the fan club membership or the ticket to any of the concerts, and I really don't want to deal with security for purchasing a resale ticket with the way that I look. With non-FC tickets, seats would be so far I'm not sure it would be worth it.
5. I'm just too old for this.
6. The concert is dubbed ~Japan Edition~ and every goddamn song is going to be in the horribly Japanese translated version.
7. Money. I remember spending hundreds of dollars for concerts before and I ended up not having a single memory about it except how horrible it was. I wonder when I move on from this obsession I would feel the same thing about this concert, had I gone.

Still, I wonder if I'm going to regret deciding not to go while I was here.