Lulu has been acting weird lately, with going between schedules alone instead of moving with the group. Had he been accompanied by a manager on his side, it would not have been strange and probably is just another work related thing he had to do somewhere separated from his group.

Today there's a news article on his visit to a hospital in Beijing. One thing I am happy about is that they're getting Chuseok holiday and have a couple of days off after continuous shows and filmings. But I do worried about Lulu, he does seem very tired lately and my heart aches. People and the online articles also mentioned about his fear of height which pushes him to drink large dosage of sleeping pills to get through flights, I do not know how accurate this is or whether this is just an exagerration, but one thing I know, this affects me emotionally.

Like I wrote on twitter a while ago, sometimes I wish I don't have a bias so I wouldn't be affected by things that is going on with them. Happy things we can cheer, but when it comes to unfortunate things, I can not bear the pain in my chest. Sometimes I think whether it would be better for me to leave him alone... whether with less demand and less fans he could live a happier life. I wonder the state of mental and physical exhaustion that he is in, because no human being can work and function normally with the crazy schedule (life) that they're running. Next week they'll have to fly to Bangkok, and back to Beijing a week after. And later at the end of the year, 9 shows in Japan alone. I hope the management gives Lulu some time to rest and heal (from whatever he's suffering) in between.

Get well soon, bb.