... which is one of the signs that I'm getting further from my so-called online life. Also, I am now completely and utterly broke. I have $1 in my purse as of now, enough for one time commuting to the office and back (I checked my wallet and turned out I still have another $2). I have $47 in my bank account and with the 'minimum $10 balance' policy, I could only take $30. I have to pay $10 tomorrow to a colleague which will left me with $23 to survive until the end of this month.

Partly, it's because I just paid for my new laptop and that my office hasn't paid me for my business trip expenses earlier this month, BUT I do realize lately that I have an extravagant lifestyle when I really shouldn't and couldn't. This is one of the consequences of getting back on that fun, colorful real life; the more you spend time with your (RL) friends, the more money you spend. It's not even only about the money for movie tickets and restaurant bills, or the cab fee after dinner or movie with friends. Because the more you spend time with people, the more you care about how you look. The more you care about how you look, the more money you'll spend on beauty products, clothes, shoes, bags, etc. I suppose I shouldn't care about it that much but when you spend time with other people who does, it's really hard not to. There's this batik trend in my office, and before I realized it I have so many batik cloths and have spent a lot of money ordering dresses from different custom dressmakers.

I remember back then when I was in Sendai (Japan), I didn't have any steady income for a year, and yet I managed to survive living in such expensive country. I remember not buying any clothes for MONTHS. I didn't care about how I look; I didn't even meet anyone. I need to repress the extravagant lifestyle, I need to get myself busy with something else other than shopping or thinking about how others think about me. I have loans, bills, little brother's rent, little brother's tuition fee to pay, it's really not the time to think about cute shoes and dresses. Besides, I have too many of those already.