So after what I considered a successful icon-making, I was high on dopamine and I was really eager to make more. I want to create tiny little beautiful things!! I even considered joining a 20 icons monthly challenge which is ending in less than 5 days even when it's clear that it's impossible for me to finish. In the end I settled with light, non-commitment weekly color challenge which is much more doable. Even then, I was struggling with everything. The subject was not interesting enough, the colors are wrong, the text doesn't have any impact, etc. I submitted in the end, and I was still eager to look for more challenges for me to do.

And then I wondered, with this much fun & sense of achievement, why did I stop doing this? I saw my last icon post was in September 2017. I went through the whole 2018 without making any icons but one. And then I realized... I dedicated my time and energy for traditional art and journaling, which is why I completed a whole journal in about one year (something I've never done before).

As one of the efforts to cut my expenses due to this huge house renovation project, I looked into my credit card bill and decided to end my Photoshop subscription. I might subscribe to it again, but as of now, it is linked to my Japanese Adobe ID and it keeps charging me in Japanese Yen, which fluctuates every month. If I re-subscribe using IDR at least the bill will be more stable.

I always switch between digital art (mostly icon making & photo manipulation) with traditional art so is this going to be one of the turning points?

I need a Tae/BTS mood theme.

I was looking forward to the announcement of final member to the second line-up today when it turns out to be... Asahi. Waah waah. Definitely not a member I expect to be up there, and definitely changed my mind about the Japanese group concept. Now the group has 3 Koreans and 3 Japanese, looking more likely as a strategy to promote in Japanese market. I don't really understand why they split up Haruto and also kicked the rest of Team J members out of both line-ups, but I really need to establish it in me now more than ever, that there's no use of trying to justify or make sense of YG's decision. YG's gonna YG.

HOWEVER!!! I WAS SUPER HAPPY ABOUT YOSHINORI!!! I didn't think he would actually make it! MY BABY!!! I SUPPORT YOU!!!

I'm sure there are a lot of people who think that way about Asahi so I'll try not to be bummed about him making the line-up that badly. If it were up to me, I definitely will pick tiny little adorable Yeongue. Also people are saying Asahi & Yoshinori will be in charge of composing, and if they are targetting Japanese market, it definitely makes sense to have Japanese members compose/write lyrics for the group.

I'm also very happy about Mashiho. That kid has the passion, talent, and star quality to him, he HAS to debut.

Anyway, now that they finished announcing the line-up including the surprise second debut line-up, I feel like my life is empty. I used to look forward to 9AM in the morning to see who's the next trainee that will get a big life-change.

We don't even know when YG is going to debut these kids, but I feel like we'll be waiting for an eternity. I hope they at least announce the group name soon!

On the other side, I do feel bad for enjoying a show made based on exploiting kids emotionally and physically like this one. And in the end all of those brutal and painful elimination processes are pointless because YG is handpicking his favorite regardless.