I haven't blogged a lot so I'l try to write a summary of all the things that happened in the last year and a half. Last time I blogged that I was really stressed out and unsatisfied with the way I live my life and I wanted change. I wanted to go to a different country and experience new things. I actually went to Singapore in October 2015, and I did an interview with a headhunter agency to see my chances of finding a job there. I went back home, I told my boss that I want to leave. I said that this was my fourth year in the company, the job has became too monotonous for me, I was sick of Jakarta and I wanted to leave the country. My boss acknowledged my wish, we had dinner together that night and had good conversation about life, work, jobs, etc. At that time, I haven't been doing real interviews or guaranteed to be working anywhere else so I basically gambled everything to take a leap of faith I've been uncertain of taking. I was just crossing my finger and hoped that I will eventually find a good job and a chance to experience new, fun, different life. I plotted everything in my mind. I was even looking for my own replacement so that I could resign peacefully. But something happened. It turns out that the people in HQ didn't really want to let me go? So my boss called me again, and said that if this is not about the company, there might be chances in the future that I could be placed in offices other than this one. There might be a Singapore branch sometime in the future, and there's a good chance that I could be sent for a training program at Tokyo HQ. So he asked me if I would stay with those conditions in mind. I hesitated, but I said yes. And there I was stuck again in the same cubicle, doing the same thing with a slight hope that I could at least temporarily be out of this toxic environment someday.

In December 2015 HQ called me in. It was a meaningless business trip designed to make me happy. I work administration job, there was no urgency whatsoever that requires me to travel to HQ. My own boss wasn't really happy and or supportive about my trip, he knew it wasn't necessary. In HQ, I met my former boss, the head of the division etc, obviously I didn't do much meaningful work but it was a nice trip. I was also promised (kinda) that I would be the next person they'll invite for a 1 year training program in HQ by next year. And so I waited for another 6 months.

I moved to Japan at the end of June last year for the training program. The offer was a no-brainer, I'd be given a place to live, allowances for living abroad, I get to live in Tokyo again and experience working in Japan. Even if I wouldn't dedicate my life to this company, I'd be out with the experience of working in Japan, which I think would make a huge difference. Japanese working conditions stresses me out a little bit, but overall it was okay. I knew the consequences of living alone in Japan, a little lonely, but it was a fresh, peaceful, and safe life. I think one of the things that caught me off guard was the amount of time and effort needed to do my own chores. I didn't have as much free time as I thought I would because of it. I've lived my life without doing chores for more than 3 years living in a serviced apartment back home. But I'm still grateful for the experience. And now, April 2017, I have only 2.5 months left here. I miss my family, my serviced apartment life and Indonesian food, but I must mentally prepare myself for everything that I didn't like about the country.

Okay so I have spent most of my free time obsessing about bts and got absolutely nothing else done. Actually that's a lie. I finally did grocery shopping yesterday after putting it off forever and I felt so accomplished. I kept on repeating Fire and Not Today which was the only two songs I bought off of iTunes and they're just not cutting it for me anymore. I NEED MOAR. I wanted to have a good collection of their music, but K-Pop group discographies are just too confusing because of the multiple re-releases, re-packages, etc. As a new fan, I'm not familiar with the titles to know which one is what. I love the boys, but I'm just starting to learn about them so I don't want to get overwhelmed with tons of the same songs. I ended up buying two of their albums plus one song separately. I went grocery shopping with these new songs on my mp3 player which was the only thing that made me happy and bouncy all the way to the supermarket and back.

I also found more of my favorite videos of them that I started watching over and over again, they are just too adorable. Initially I couldn't get into Blood Sweat and Tears, just because it's a song with slower beat and there is no dance version MV. I had to watch the real MV and it's the kind that has long prologue + epilogue which is bullshit! I want to hear the song and watch them dance, that's it (which was why it was easier for me to get into fire and not today - both has dance version mv, plus the beat is catchy). I also felt like it's trying so hard to be ~fine art and seductive (y'all are too young for me, boyz). However, after several listens and watches, I fell in love with the MV concept (I haven't learned the lyrics yet). It's pretty. Jimin is so very beautiful in it, it's ethereal. I still wish it had a dance version MV. Why they didn't make one, is beyond me. The dance scene is gorgeous!

I've also been listening to different songs in their albums and I have to take back what I said about them being just so-so at singing. They're great singers. Tae has such a versatile singing voice! I was just skeptical because no one is that good looking and also that good at singing AND dancing. Too much talent! I still can't distinguish the singing voices though. Time to watch those line distribution vids!

After seeing more interview videos I realized that Tae is more weird and wacky than he is a bad boy. He's the kind who could spend so much time alone and still enjoys it, he even talks to himself (I do this too). I suspect that he's an AB, and he is, which makes him more relatable to me.

I saw Suga's solo song MV (just one of them - the self-titled one) and it was just too intense. I felt like being pounded hard from just watching it. I have to admit that he's an amazing rapper/song producer, but still the part where he repeatedly saying "STD" trying to be cool has left me cringing. He also slipped "fucking asshole" in the song which is very aggressive for an idol marketed towards kids as young as early teens. In English speaking countries, you wouldn't be able to release a song like that without being labeled 'explicit' and here in Asia, you'd just look cool cause you sound like you understand English language. Korea is .... I don't know where to start, it's the same as Japan, they're very comfortable with their country where everything is served in local language that they don't see the need for ability to comprehend English. And frankly it's really embarrassing for idol groups in this scale to not be able to speak English. You're traveling across the globe! Even in the songs, if I hadn't seen the lyrics I couldn't get what they're saying. In not today, I couldn't get "underdogs" I hear "drugs" in the prologue and I hear "today we will survive" as "today we raise apart" and "together we won't die" as "together we will die" which is... please don't.

On the other side, I love the fact that BTS is pure Korean and none of them are residents or citizens of other countries. It's just simpler with less ... conflicts of interest (I learned my lesson the hard way in previous fandom).

Anyway, I saw videos of them performing (and actually singing) live and they are amazing. Suga almost always prefer to actually sing his lines, in practice or on stage. I applaud him for being that singer but also I suppose it's easier for him since his lines are raps and he's not doing crazy dance moves when he spits them. But he really brings the energy to their performance.

My bts related google searches today :
awards won by bts
bts lightstick -- super expensive but I want it, tbh
saitama super arena -- there's a bts concert in June, should I go???? Can't decide.
bts blood sweat and tears coreography
bts members blood type
bts livejournal
v bts blood type
bts jimin
bts injury
and the last one is ... bts main ships

(Out of randomness other than that I also googled adam lambert, persimmon, is titanium bulletproof, why saudi arabia is so rich, kaki udon in tokyo and is holycow beef halal.)