![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
I can't do this
I'm so scared, I'm so stressed out! I want both Sunghoon and Jake to make it so badly. I want it more than anything, it's all I can think of. I'm now avoiding many review channels because NONE of them are supporting Jake! I can't do this! Jake has to make it! Why are you people so against Jake making it!
And I hate myself for putting myself in this position AGAIN. WHY do I let myself emotionally invest so much in trainees with no guarantee of debuting! WHY, SELF, WHY! If the kid doesn't make it, I know exactly how this would only end: in PAIN. And I would suffer from long-term irrational hatred towards the debut group even after following them for all this time! I shouldn't be like this! I should be supportive! I shouldn't be judgemental! They all worked hard! This is the path the universe created for them!
Last night, I was looking up Jake and Sunghoon again, and I saw how international fans go to certain length to get other people to vote for their faves. Giveaways, massive subway ads, fund raising to get more SIM cards to make accounts (?), it's kind of insane. I was even contemplating of copying them by doing giveaways of KPop stuff that I want to get rid of, so I created an account. But now I'm not so sure. I feel like I need some time off of the internet and face Friday with a better, calmer state of mind. HELP ME.
And I hate myself for putting myself in this position AGAIN. WHY do I let myself emotionally invest so much in trainees with no guarantee of debuting! WHY, SELF, WHY! If the kid doesn't make it, I know exactly how this would only end: in PAIN. And I would suffer from long-term irrational hatred towards the debut group even after following them for all this time! I shouldn't be like this! I should be supportive! I shouldn't be judgemental! They all worked hard! This is the path the universe created for them!
Last night, I was looking up Jake and Sunghoon again, and I saw how international fans go to certain length to get other people to vote for their faves. Giveaways, massive subway ads, fund raising to get more SIM cards to make accounts (?), it's kind of insane. I was even contemplating of copying them by doing giveaways of KPop stuff that I want to get rid of, so I created an account. But now I'm not so sure. I feel like I need some time off of the internet and face Friday with a better, calmer state of mind. HELP ME.