13 April 2017 @ 04:13 pm
Okay so I have spent most of my free time obsessing about bts and got absolutely nothing else done. Actually that's a lie. I finally did grocery shopping yesterday after putting it off forever and I felt so accomplished. I kept on repeating Fire and Not Today which was the only two songs I bought off of iTunes and they're just not cutting it for me anymore. I NEED MOAR. I wanted to have a good collection of their music, but K-Pop group discographies are just too confusing because of the multiple re-releases, re-packages, etc. As a new fan, I'm not familiar with the titles to know which one is what. I love the boys, but I'm just starting to learn about them so I don't want to get overwhelmed with tons of the same songs. I ended up buying two of their albums plus one song separately. I went grocery shopping with these new songs on my mp3 player which was the only thing that made me happy and bouncy all the way to the supermarket and back.

I also found more of my favorite videos of them that I started watching over and over again, they are just too adorable. Initially I couldn't get into Blood Sweat and Tears, just because it's a song with slower beat and there is no dance version MV. I had to watch the real MV and it's the kind that has long prologue + epilogue which is bullshit! I want to hear the song and watch them dance, that's it (which was why it was easier for me to get into fire and not today - both has dance version mv, plus the beat is catchy). I also felt like it's trying so hard to be ~fine art and seductive (y'all are too young for me, boyz). However, after several listens and watches, I fell in love with the MV concept (I haven't learned the lyrics yet). It's pretty. Jimin is so very beautiful in it, it's ethereal. I still wish it had a dance version MV. Why they didn't make one, is beyond me. The dance scene is gorgeous!

I've also been listening to different songs in their albums and I have to take back what I said about them being just so-so at singing. They're great singers. Tae has such a versatile singing voice! I was just skeptical because no one is that good looking and also that good at singing AND dancing. Too much talent! I still can't distinguish the singing voices though. Time to watch those line distribution vids!

After seeing more interview videos I realized that Tae is more weird and wacky than he is a bad boy. He's the kind who could spend so much time alone and still enjoys it, he even talks to himself (I do this too). I suspect that he's an AB, and he is, which makes him more relatable to me.

I saw Suga's solo song MV (just one of them - the self-titled one) and it was just too intense. I felt like being pounded hard from just watching it. I have to admit that he's an amazing rapper/song producer, but still the part where he repeatedly saying "STD" trying to be cool has left me cringing. He also slipped "fucking asshole" in the song which is very aggressive for an idol marketed towards kids as young as early teens. In English speaking countries, you wouldn't be able to release a song like that without being labeled 'explicit' and here in Asia, you'd just look cool cause you sound like you understand English language. Korea is .... I don't know where to start, it's the same as Japan, they're very comfortable with their country where everything is served in local language that they don't see the need for ability to comprehend English. And frankly it's really embarrassing for idol groups in this scale to not be able to speak English. You're traveling across the globe! Even in the songs, if I hadn't seen the lyrics I couldn't get what they're saying. In not today, I couldn't get "underdogs" I hear "drugs" in the prologue and I hear "today we will survive" as "today we raise apart" and "together we won't die" as "together we will die" which is... please don't.

On the other side, I love the fact that BTS is pure Korean and none of them are residents or citizens of other countries. It's just simpler with less ... conflicts of interest (I learned my lesson the hard way in previous fandom).

Anyway, I saw videos of them performing (and actually singing) live and they are amazing. Suga almost always prefer to actually sing his lines, in practice or on stage. I applaud him for being that singer but also I suppose it's easier for him since his lines are raps and he's not doing crazy dance moves when he spits them. But he really brings the energy to their performance.

My bts related google searches today :
awards won by bts
bts lightstick -- super expensive but I want it, tbh
saitama super arena -- there's a bts concert in June, should I go???? Can't decide.
bts blood sweat and tears coreography
bts members blood type
bts livejournal
v bts blood type
bts jimin
bts injury
and the last one is ... bts main ships

(Out of randomness other than that I also googled adam lambert, persimmon, is titanium bulletproof, why saudi arabia is so rich, kaki udon in tokyo and is holycow beef halal.)
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13 April 2017 @ 03:54 pm
I haven't blogged a lot so I'l try to write a summary of all the things that happened in the last year and a half. Last time I blogged that I was really stressed out and unsatisfied with the way I live my life and I wanted change. I wanted to go to a different country and experience new things. I actually went to Singapore in October 2015, and I did an interview with a headhunter agency to see my chances of finding a job there. I went back home, I told my boss that I want to leave. I said that this was my fourth year in the company, the job has became too monotonous for me, I was sick of Jakarta and I wanted to leave the country. My boss acknowledged my wish, we had dinner together that night and had good conversation about life, work, jobs, etc. At that time, I haven't been doing real interviews or guaranteed to be working anywhere else so I basically gambled everything to take a leap of faith I've been uncertain of taking. I was just crossing my finger and hoped that I will eventually find a good job and a chance to experience new, fun, different life. I plotted everything in my mind. I was even looking for my own replacement so that I could resign peacefully. But something happened. It turns out that the people in HQ didn't really want to let me go? So my boss called me again, and said that if this is not about the company, there might be chances in the future that I could be placed in offices other than this one. There might be a Singapore branch sometime in the future, and there's a good chance that I could be sent for a training program at Tokyo HQ. So he asked me if I would stay with those conditions in mind. I hesitated, but I said yes. And there I was stuck again in the same cubicle, doing the same thing with a slight hope that I could at least temporarily be out of this toxic environment someday.

In December 2015 HQ called me in. It was a meaningless business trip designed to make me happy. I work administration job, there was no urgency whatsoever that requires me to travel to HQ. My own boss wasn't really happy and or supportive about my trip, he knew it wasn't necessary. In HQ, I met my former boss, the head of the division etc, obviously I didn't do much meaningful work but it was a nice trip. I was also promised (kinda) that I would be the next person they'll invite for a 1 year training program in HQ by next year. And so I waited for another 6 months.

I moved to Japan at the end of June last year for the training program. The offer was a no-brainer, I'd be given a place to live, allowances for living abroad, I get to live in Tokyo again and experience working in Japan. Even if I wouldn't dedicate my life to this company, I'd be out with the experience of working in Japan, which I think would make a huge difference. Japanese working conditions stresses me out a little bit, but overall it was okay. I knew the consequences of living alone in Japan, a little lonely, but it was a fresh, peaceful, and safe life. I think one of the things that caught me off guard was the amount of time and effort needed to do my own chores. I didn't have as much free time as I thought I would because of it. I've lived my life without doing chores for more than 3 years living in a serviced apartment back home. But I'm still grateful for the experience. And now, April 2017, I have only 2.5 months left here. I miss my family, my serviced apartment life and Indonesian food, but I must mentally prepare myself for everything that I didn't like about the country.
Current Mood: contemplative
12 April 2017 @ 11:09 pm
I... somehow I got into BTS fandom just a couple of days ago. Okay so I'm going to write how I got into this (it's very long, as usual).

the whole story here )

Anyway, they are a very solid group! Now I understand the hype. Aside from the fact that they're good to look at, their songs are ALL enjoyable and feels very cohesive, style-wise. They're no over the top singer - no vocal olympics and all that, but they're very good at what they do and the songs are well produced to showcase their strengths. The songs are perfect for them, and for this era of music. Even though they're very young, they co-produce (or even produce) and involved heavily in the making of the songs. Their music and videos are really, really well made (meaning they're making lots of money, meaning they're really popular), and they are also very well documented which is a good thing for fans, because nothing is ever enough. This feeds the addiction well. They're travelling across the globe and tickets are selling out fast. From what I've seen, the numbers and everything, BTS currently is the most popular K-Pop boy group.

some more note )

I'm so obsessed they're all I think of now, even at work. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not? Because usually when I'm obsessed, I got NOTHING done. I know one good thing about this though. Obsessing over an online presence keeps me away from shopping. Whenever I'm active online, I managed to not get out of the house, hence my wallet and bank account is intact. lol. Let's see where this obsession goes.
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Current Mood: bouncy
19 April 2016 @ 03:23 pm
Me before today : OMG DRAG RACE, YES! Is there no one around me who watches the show, seriously? It's the best show ever! I could talk about the show forever!

Me after today : Please do not even think to mention Drag Race when I'm in your presence.

Wow. I don't even know where to start or what to say. My heart is breaking.

I'm trying to justify what happened. Like, Acid is super talented and she went home for one flub. So, it is very likely that the same thing could happen to anyone else. Even Thorgy. Especially Thorgy. We all witnessed how she has been good but not good enough all season. She's been in the top but has never won any challenges, her style/aesthetic is somewhat questionable, so.... yeah! She could be eliminated at anytime! Even for challenges she had confidence in!

When something big happened to my fandom (which is my life, tbh), I always feel this gut-wrenching feeling, mixed emotions that I can't put into words. There's sadness, disappointment, worry that Thorgy is not going to do better than her sisters in the future, and maybe there's a little relieved feeling as well that I no longer have to worry about the possibility of her being eliminated in the next episodes.

Thorgy is AMAZING. She has the personality, the attitude, the positivity that makes people loves her. However I'm a little worried about how she's going to put herself out there after the show. You need to make a brand for yourself. She's not a social media queen, it took her forever to set up her website and merch, etc. Your fifteen minutes, girl, it's running out soon. She got a lot of ideas but honestly we need to see execution and she's just not the best at it.

Anyway Thorgy is traveling a lot and doing great gigs, so I'm happy for her, so proud of her, I want to meet her someday, and I wish her nothing but the best.

P.S. I'm still not watching tonight's episode. I'll be back for the reunion.
Current Mood: sad
14 April 2016 @ 12:48 pm
This is seriously getting frustrating. I think the girls are a group of very talented people with interesting personalities but... they are lacking in the looks department. I bet y'all miss Acid Betty now. Sure, we still got Kim Chi the goddess of visual but one Kim Chi is not enough to make the whole ensemble amazing.

This is season 8 and this is the second episode you have let the audience down. You were given amazing themes, Madonna??? Wizard of Oz Couture????? Those themes have endless possibilities and so much potential but the audience are left speechless (not in a good way) with what was presented on stage. Granted, there are factors like shitty materials provided by the production and time constraints to create two looks for yourself and for your little lady but come the fuck on. This is really getting frustrating. The looks are frustrating, Thorgy keeps on being safe is frustrating. She's good, but she's not good enough to win something on the show so far is what really, really frustrates all Thorgy fans. Like, not even the music challenge that she excels in, not even one mini challenge.

And yea, the Ozians aka citizens of Emerald city is not the most interesting out of all the other character inspirations from The Wizard of Oz, but you could've taken it much further! Think about the citizens of the Capitol from The Hunger Games, how extravagant, how big their costumes are, how vibrant in color and how crazy their make-up looks. Think couture! I so can see it! I mean something like THAT would blow the judges away.

Overall, I'm so frustrated and disappointed that I couldn't bring myself to watch this week's Untucked.

Anyway! Congrats on my baby Naomi!! So proud of her and happy for her. Her look was great! And the scarecrow theme fit her so well.
Current Mood: frustrated
08 April 2016 @ 04:54 pm
... That title is really too big for the episode! It's one of the reasons why everyone, literally EVERYONE in the audience was severely underwhelmed and disappointed by the runway presentation!

This episode is probably the one I like the least of all the others that have aired. I mean, acting challenges and snatch game are always painful and cringe-worthy to watch, but sometimes the fun, super-cool runway looks make up for it. This time, wow. I mean, yeah. I'm not as mad as Raja about this but very, very underwhelmed for sure.

It's 'Night of 100 Madonnas', but you only have 8 queens, 4 of which wears Kimono and the other 4's looks aren't that interesting either. If the producers want to make this work, get each queen prepare 2 looks of Madonna (there are hundreds to choose from, c'mon), and they are not allowed to overlap the same theme with other queens, deal?? Now that, would be Night of 100 Madonnas. This episode was just meh. The Kimono era Madonna was stunning, but really, we would love to see other looks, MORE ICONIC LOOKS, PLEASE. Also the guest judges were BORING especially Chanel Iman. I don't care who you are or how good you look, this is a drag queen show, I want wits, puns, funny banters!

I think Thorgy should've done Frozen look, because WHY NOT. She can utilize her bun, since the look includes a bun. A silky, flowy black gown/skirt would look amazing on the runway! Add accessories and fake hena (what? people are going to accuse everyone of cultural appropriation now?), and it would look great! Pale make-up and long black hair. I could see it! I know Thorgy prefers colorful clown-ish looks but yea, why not.

Here's hoping next episode would be more interesting than this one.
Current Mood: apathetic
30 March 2016 @ 08:03 pm
I enjoyed this season so much I always end up wanting MORE. Why are the episodes so short? Why are the runways so rushed? Why can't we get to know more of the queens, why why why. I really don't mind watching longer Untuckeds. Or the main episodes.

Yesterday, I went home feeling really down about my work. I have disliked my job for a while now, and every time something bad happens at work it just triggers me to hate EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE. I don't know if I could last any longer. My point is, my boss totally ruined my Drag Race Day Mood! Oh how I hate him :) I went home and turned on Drag Race, and immediately hooked. This show makes me laugh, makes me so happy and just lifts my mood no matter how bad the day was.

I need to watch it repeatedly to be able to talk about the whole thing but overall this episode was cute. The New York girls love/hate relationship was cute, the easily distracted child Thorgy Thor was cute, even the way Acid Betty warms up to everyone in Untucked was cute! Everything was cute and warm! I love Chi Chi's mom's message and how all the girls know that her mom was the only one supporting her back home, I love how Naysha gave Chi Chi some of her outfits, I love Michelle's speech. I live for neon colors so I love love love the theme. I think Naysha's outfit was gorgeous.

ANYWAY, THORGY. Newfound facts : she's a lefty! She's a perfectionist! She's neurotic about music presentation because of her background! I LOVE her performance outfit and energy. I'm not crazy about the runway look. I sensed that she's trying to be different because last week Carson mentioned that her look was not the most inventive. I see it as she was trying to break out of her shell by presenting something different, she took a chance but the judges wasn't feeling it. Bob, Betty and Thorgy memorizing the words of the lipsync song was sweet. I seriously want to obsess more but I need to watch it again in good quality and my internet connection is not agreeing with me.
Current Mood: chipper
28 March 2016 @ 08:58 pm
I don't even know where to start! Okay, first of all, before it all starts I was researching on the S8 queens and my initial thoughts were :
1. Bright colors and unusual style? Acid Betty is my girl!
2. Laila McQueen is very pretty and might be the the dark horse of this season (though she wasn't very interesting in the Meet The Queens video)
3. Kim Chi is cute
4. Robbie Turner and Cynthia Lee seem like they're very nice persons

However, after episode 1 :
1. I found Kim Chi super super adorable and lovable
2. I'm in love with Naomi's legs and looks
3. I was not impressed by how Acid Betty disrespects past winners
4. I'm intrigued by Thorgy

After Episode 2 :
1. Kim Chi is super cute!!!
2. Naomi looks super hot!!!
4. This is by far the best performance I've ever seen on Drag Race. I literally could watch Bitch Perfect performance forever. I have been every day since the episode airs, multiple times a day.

After Episode 3 :
I don't even care about the episode anymore. I'm so obsessed with Thorgy I don't know what to do with myself.

This obsession has gotten me to the point where I extract videos frame by frame so that I can analyze them and OBSESS SOME MORE! Obviously Logo kicked me out saying that videos aren't viewable from my location (which is true) but I will find a way!

She is so weird! I fell in love with her style, her laugh, her voice, her attitude, her dreads, her legs and just her EVERYTHING! I've never seen a drag performer sporting long dreads off drag before and that alone really intrigued me. How do you navigate all those hairs when your job requires you to wear wigs most of the time? She plays the violin, like wtf! I mean it's super cool but it's a combination we hardly ever see together, a white dude with white people dreads who looks homeless but actually plays the violin and cello, who is also a drag performer. Wha...? Also! Transformation. Let's admit it, boy Thorgy has a unique face structure. He has a long face, big nose, big chin, big ears, and with hooded eyes! She's so white you can see blemishes and spots on her face. I don't do make-up but it seems like a challenging canvas to work on, unlike those fishy queens who already look like a girl before they even put on any make-up. Yet when he transforms into girl Thorgy, she's so charming, cute, with great body I couldn't stop looking at her! I'm so proud of her make-up revolution, because if you look back on her make-up from years ago, girl, it ain't cute.

I haven't been obsessing over anyone since last time with Lulu/HunHan sometime in 2013, I think. I'm so obsessed I couldn't sleep at night thinking about Thorgy. I stalked everywhere if it means I could see more pics of him/her that I haven't seen before. I was considering to buy a round trip ticket to Los Angeles in May to attend DragCon so that I can meet her! I was fantasizing about dropping everything I have right now, go to NYC and volunteer to be her personal assistant, she doesn't even need to pay me, even if I have to live on the streets! Seriously considering to start a new tumblr blog on Thorgy. Or join the fyeah team. Or something. I even thought of producing her merch here and send them out to her so she can sell something!!! I'm going insane! I want to meet her at one of her shows one day and rub her pregnant belly. What. Sorry I'm very drowsy right now from the lack of sleep last night THINKING OF THORGY.

Can't wait to see my baby on ep 4 tomorrow, woo!
09 March 2016 @ 12:02 am
It finally has started!!!! Yaaaayyy. I really really like how they upscale everything this season. Starting from how they mentioned several times that it's going to include the 100th episode and the 100th queen, how they purposely delay the premier to give chance for the audience to know the queens better and more time for them to promote and hype the season, and more importantly to align the finale episode with this year's RuPaul's Drag Con!!!!!!!!! Exclamation point!!

I was so happy that I was at home by the time the first episode drops, because better internet connection! I don't have to wait to get home to watch!

Let's comment on the queens!

Dax - I like her style. I think her personality is not so loud and that is why we don't see much of her in the interviews of the first episode. But anyway, she's not conventional drag. I love how she brought cosplay element into the competition, but I'm afraid that she's not strong enough to come up with different things later on.

Acid Betty - was my early favorite. I'm attracted to shapes and colors, and I love her aesthetic. I agree that drag has a wide spectrum and not everyone has to look the same. Even though I have to admit, as someone on ontd said, that her face is a little scary. And one more thing, I don't like bitchy queen, so when Kim Chi and Derrick said she's kind of insufferable to travel with in one of the interviews, I was wary of her. I was trying to be ready of her being bitchy the whole show. And one that strikes me from the first episode was when she mentioned that sitting with "these wannabe queens" does not intimidate her a bit. Um, girl, those girls were winners for a reason. They went through judgment and finished the competition that you're in. How could you not be respectful of the queens Ru crowned in the past? I know editing plays a factor in this, but I do think for her to say that purposely on camera is conceited, disrespectful to the past winners, the competition, and Ru herself. Anyway, I she's a seasoned queen who knows what she's doing, we'll see what she'll bring to the table in future episodes (other than bitchiness).

Kim Chi - EVERYONE online was rooting for her and my gut was trying to tell me to distance myself from the mainstream - the one with the more fans. Superfans could get annoying fast and often than not I would hate the persona they idolize as well. Also after I heard that she's from the same house (or whatever) as Trixie Mattel, I rolled my eyes. I'm so over that kind of crazy make-up. HOWEVER. Kim Chi is too sweet! She's super adorable and talented. I fell in love with her since the Meet The Queen video. And in the first episode, she was just as adorable. Love her. I hope she wins and she'll be able to prove to her family that she excels in this and this is what she's born to do.

Thorgy Thor - I like me some Thorgy Thor! I love her. I think her energy is positive and fun, I haven't seen her putting anyone down in a negative way, I think she's smart and I can't wait to see more from her!

Naomi Smalls - I didn't like her, initially. When I saw the Meet The Queen video of hers, I thought she's just another body queen. Also her hair and make-up wasn't good there. After the first episode, I like her! She's gorgeous. I hope she doesn't rely on that body in every episode though. She's very young and I'm sure she'll grow up to be a great queen, fashion or otherwise.

Derrick Barry - This one, I'm super skeptical about. Duh, we all know you're a Britney impersonator, so? I mean she's kinda famous but I hope that doesn't go over her head and makes her feel like she's untouchable. I agree with Bob completely. If you're a good make-up artist, you would be able to not be Britney all the time, no matter how similar your face is with her. The problem is, you've been Britney your whole career and you've never step out of that comfort zone. From her attitude during Untucked, I don't think she'll change that about herself. I'm not even sure if she has wigs that is not blond and not look like Britney. I know Ru mentioned that she wants to see more Britney, and I sense that Derrick's going to hold on to that and use it as an excuse every time. Every. Time.

Robbie Turner - I think I liked her in the Meet The Queen video, but not anymore after the first episode. She's all talk and got nothing to show. 'I forgot to pick a theme for myself'? 'There's nothing I could work on'? 'It was just series of unfortunate events'? That all sound exactly just like what they are : excuses. Girl, you got the opportunity to pick the best theme for yourself and you missed it. You looked just like the dog shit your brought on stage. Your personality just as shitty. Bye.

Cynthia Lee Fountaine - I mean, she never stops talking. I don't like her. She seemed sweet, but I really really had enough of her mentioning her coocoos.

Naysha Lopez - Gurl. Even if you don't know how to sew which is unforgivable, mentioning it as an excuse on stage to the judges was stupid. Don't rely on your face, girl. From what she wears when she walked into the work room for the first time, I'm not sure she has the right taste, either. Bye.

Laila McQueen - Initially, I liked Laila because she looked gorgeous in the promo shoot. But after watching her in Meet The Queen video ooh girl, no personality, no charisma, I feel nothing special coming off of her. I don't think the style is that strong, either. I was pretty sure that she's one of the filler queens, but okay.

Chi Chi Devayne - is also one of the filler queens, I think. She's like the Dida Ritz of the season. The trash bag couture was nagl. Enh.

Bob The Drag Queen - I'm not crazy about her like some people, but I like her. I'm not that annoyed (yet) with her being loud, I like her personality. Make-up wise though, I just don't think she's polished enough. Let's see how she performs!

GOD I can't believe we have to wait another week to get the next episode, we waited for this seson forever! I wished this was like Netflix, where they release the whole season at a time so we can binge watch it. This is torture! But I'm excited to follow these queens' journey through the competition.
Current Mood: bouncy
12 February 2016 @ 01:04 pm
I really need to meditate or something. There has been so much anger in me this week.

First problem, 10th each month is my payday. That's not the problem. The problem is that my business trip allowance which was from freaking December last year, has not yet been transferred to me yet. WTF is this. My whole financial situation is bust because I was waiting for this money since 10th of January. When it wasn't there, I simply thought, oh, they must needed more time to process it or whatever so it must be next month, 10th of February. But NO. God I'm really pissed off now. I asked around to the people in head office, and accounting division said they never received my application which obviously means, no payment. GDI. There's this new person in the head office who didn't understand the flow, and she sent the application back to me instead of submitting it to accounting. Okay. I submitted it just yesterday which means I only will get paid sometime in the next two weeks. SO MUCH ANGER.

Second problem, the fiber optic internet + paytv service at home sucks major ass! Sucks as in, slow, lots of cut-offs, the paytv isn't even working for MONTHS now, THEY BLOCKED NETFLIX, and they raised the price! This is not making any sense. I called to the customer service but as usual they only apologized, giving me complaint number which does nothing at all, with no clear or immediate solution to my problems.

Third problem, I'm about to get a cold, lots of sneezes, my throat is sore and I had headache all day yesterday.

When I get stressed out about things, even if it's not about work, I often came up with the conclusion that I'm not happy here, that I need to move out and start a different life, instead of stuck with a job and place that I dislike.
Current Mood: sore
18 November 2015 @ 10:03 am
And I didn't like it. I mainly went to see it because it's my movie night with my siblings, sometimes they come up with a movie they think we need to watch and then we go to the cinema to see it. I love going out with them since I don't have many chances like that. Especially, yesterday was a family dinner and movie. November 13 was my parents' anniversary and my sister thought it's a good idea to buy them flowers, ask them to dinner and movie. In the end I paid for everything but okay...

Anyway! Spectre. Man, maybe I'm just not a fan of Bond movies. The movie is very beautiful to look at, great cars, exciting cities and locations, but the plot is weak. I feel like they blow up things for the sake of showing how great of an action movie this is, without any significance in the plot.

The first 10 minutes in, I felt like I'm in hell. The story of fighting one person took forever! Also my sister said it's a Bond thing, but what the eff is with that long credit before the movie even started? I kept waiting for a plot to follow but this movie gives me... nothing. I felt nothing towards the characters (except maybe Q because he's cute and geeky), I felt like the sex scenes, the explosions, have not enough reason to happen. Also Lea Seydoux (?) is too young for Daniel Craig. Seriously. He could be her father.

I didn't like it and if there are more Bond movies in the future, maybe I should skip them as well.
Current Mood: awake
18 September 2015 @ 05:03 pm
For the past three weeks, my life has been a living hell. A friend of mine offered a translation job, which I accepted with great joy. I do freelance translation jobs all the time, and this particular friend has given me many opportunities in the past which I am very grateful for.

But turns out this project is TERRIBLE. The work is not only much more difficult than expected, but also very complicated. The agent that gave us this job is asking for progress EVERY.SINGLE.DAY like a debt collector and we only realized later how we are very much underpaid. The workload is simply too much and isn't worth the money. I have a full time job and I still have to work on this after my 9-5. I've been working round the clock with very little to no time to rest and do anything else. I'm so stressed. I told my friend that I'm dropping out because this is too crazy, and she begged me not to. And now I'm trapped in this awful project which is still continuing for a couple of weeks ahead.

This is crazy. The money isn't even that good, I hate this job.
Current Mood: stressed
11 September 2015 @ 11:59 am
I feel like I don't want to work. I'm tired.
I don't want to work anymore. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be trapped in this stupid cubicle for 8 hours every fucking day. I'm sure every single person who had worked a desk job feels the same way for at least once in their cubicle life.

Or maybe I'm just tired. I'm sleep deprived. Maybe I'm just stressed out from this never ending translation project which turned out to be more difficult than I had expected. Maybe I got moody because of the negative emails I read when I just turned on my computer this morning. Possibly the fact that the nicest and most reliable person at Head Quarter who trained me just told me that she's quitting the company by the end of the month caught me off guard.

But maybe ... only because it's Friday and my work motivation on Fridays has always been lower than any other days.

Maybe I just need a vacation.

Or maybe, it is time to depart from here and start a new adventure.
Current Mood: grumpy
10 June 2015 @ 09:51 pm
I've been sneezing like crazy since a couple of weeks ago, I kept thinking that it's flu symptom and I'm about to be sick. But no. I've always known that I'm allergic to something in the air, and I've always thought it's dust/dust mites but again, for this case, no. My allergy always worsens during summer in Japan, and dry season here, when it's hot and the air is much more humid. But I can't be allergic to heat or humidity and today I realized the culprit is mold. God damn it.

My apartment room is so tiny and it has no window that connects me to the outside world/fresh air. There is one tiny window for ventilation, when I open it I can only see a wall and the air coming from there is not fresh either. I'm mostly out all day for work, the ac is off, the air doesn't flow for at least 9 hours every day, the air is hot and humid and it's the perfect recipe for MOLD. Fucking mold. I put lots of cheap, small, temporary dehumidifiers (I don't know what it's called in English), but they run out so fast and today I could smell MOLD. I need electric air humidifier but it's expensive. But I don't want to continue living like this so I guess I'll think about it :/
Current Mood: sick
08 May 2015 @ 06:22 pm
I just blew up and cursed out loud at the office. In front of everyone. That's something I've never done before and I myself was shocked with what happened. I'm taking the whole next week off, I really, really don't want to be bothered work related thoughts during my time off. I've finished EVERYTHING, even next week's portion to make sure I don't leave anything unfinished behind. I'm a responsible person! I'm a good employee! But just before I go home today, I got an email from head office about an application I've submitted since last week. I dislike the way they blamed me for the incomplete application when no one ever explained anything to me. Ever. I dislike Japanese work ethic that requires you to apologize and hang your head low when anyone points out your mistakes even though the whole system is at fault. I'm furious that this simple code application spiralled into something I never expected it to be, and I couldn't get my job done because of it. I was so angry!

I guess I have to be grateful that I was given the chance to feel what I felt. To learn and grow more. I'm still immature and emotional sometimes, and it seems like I was refusing to acknowledge my weakness the whole time. I tend to run away from things I don't understand because I don't want to look stupid and incapable. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe it was my pms.

I want to be a better person.
Current Mood: frustrated
05 May 2015 @ 05:59 pm
It feels like it's been months since we last saw Tao performs with EXO (which was the comeback stage), and after dragging forever it seems like today it has became clearer that he's not coming back. I thought I would know how I'd feel when yet another member decides to leave the group but alas, I don't. It's a mixed feeling of sadness and grief that the group faces another loss of member, pity for Tao because of how much injuries he had suffered, but also relief that he is now free to take time to heal and choose activities that will not aggravate his injuries. I don't know. I believe happiness is everything. If you don't feel happy with they way things are, with your life, with your job, then you need to do something about it. In Tao's case though, he loves the group so much and he didn't want to leave, but how the company treated him and his body up to the point of no repair is just wrong. I understand how his father talked him into sense that this can't go on. If I were a parent I probably would do the same, no parents want to see their child suffers.

EXO 12 was so happy, young, beautiful, and it was a good memory, but I do believe EXO 9 can do just as good if not already much better. Other groups lost members and they still can shine bright. Things just went out of control with EXO, they get so popular so fast, and in some cases (like Kris and Luhan), I think they've unintentionally became bigger than the group, the group can no longer contain them. Nobody predicted this. That is why they survive just fine without the management/the group.
Current Mood: sad
24 April 2015 @ 02:08 pm
I need to control my anger. Seriously everything in this city pisses me off. Today me and Dhani headed to Nanny's Pavillon on the 2nd floor. It's a place we go to quite regularly, we love the food. However, today they messed up and somehow the system didn't record our orders. All the other customers who came after us already got their food while we continued waiting. It was already 12:45, just 15 minutes to the end of our lunch break when they asked us 'what was your order again?'. WTF!!! Ten minutes later we told them if they haven't cooked it yet, we'll leave because it's almost 1 o'clock and we have to get back to the office. The person told us to wait for 2 more minutes. In the end, Dhani got her food and I didn't get mine until 13:17, DEAD HUNGRY AND ANGRY RAAAHHH. I went to the counter and asked them to wrap my food because there's no time to eat. They apologized saying that it's a system error that our orders wasn't recorded. GAAAH I WAS SO ANGRY I HAD HEADACHE. And now I'm eating out of a styrofoam box in the pantry of my office. This was not what I imagined my lunch would be.
Current Mood: enraged
19 April 2015 @ 03:42 am

Entry for [ profile] gameofcards
Challenge 008 : Movie Review

20, Once Again! (2015)
Cast : Yang Zishan, Grace Kuei, Bolin Chen, Lu Han
Director : Leste Chen
Genre : Drama Comedy

20, Once Again! is a Mandarin remake of Korean box office movie ‘Miss Granny’. The movie tells a story of Shen Mengjun, a 70 year old widow who got transformed into her 20-year-old self after a visit to a mysterious photo studio.

Plot : (Warning : Spoiler-ish)
Shen Mengjun lives with her son Guobin, daughter in law Yangqin, and twin grandchildren. Mengjun faced a family conflict as Yangqin fell ill from stress because of the pressure Mengjun always put on her. The family has agreed to temporarily send Mengjun to a nursing home until Yangqin’s condition is better. Heartbroken Mengjun visited a photo studio one night and magically transformed into her 20 year-old self. She then went on adventures which she gave up when she was young to take care of her son. How will this adventure end for Mengjun?

The movie shows actual hardships of a modern Chinese family of 3 generations living together. The movie has a perfect balance of comedy and heartwarming scenes. As the story centers on singing and music, the soundtrack plays an important part and the movie is filled with many great, entertaining songs.

Yang Zishan plays the character of young Mengjun, and did a wonderful job in portraying the character. She is young and very pretty, but perfectly translating the gestures and character of a grandmother. Yang Zishan also sings most of the soundtrack songs for the movie herself, making the character more believable. 20, Once Again! is the first movie for Luhan, who was known as a former member of one of the most popular Korean idol groups, EXO. He plays the grandson character called Xiang Qianjin which fits his persona perfectly. Qianjin is a young man who is passionate in music and has the dream to make it big in the music industry.

The movie runs for 131 minutes long, which some people might feel too long, but the pace is just enough for the viewers to understand the emotion of the characters. If you like family drama / comedy, this will be a fun movie for you to watch.

4.5 / 5 Stars
Current Mood: okay
16 April 2015 @ 04:58 pm
This is super late post but I didn't have a lot of chances to blog last month so I will write it now.

long rambling ahead! )

The next week after an exhausting internal audit at the office I asked my co-worker Dhani to watch it again with me. I had a feeling that she'd LOVE it. The theater was empty beside us and a lady with her kid but I don't mind that a bit. I love it. After the second time I still love it. Dhani laughed like a crazy person and she LOVED IT SO MUCH.

We also got paper fan of the movie poster and Lulu on the back which I shamelessly put on my cubicle at work. I don't even care. He's pretty and looking at him makes me happy.

Another thing I did not expect: I got obsessed with the Xiang twins.


more )

WHAT THE HELL. They're so cute! They look alike! How did they even find these casts, like seriously??? I don't know but I always think it's cute how people that are not related have similar face. I think this was also the reason why I fell in love with HunHan. I'm immediately OBSESSED.

In conclusion, if there is ever a perfect first movie for Lulu, this was it. It was perfection all around. The character he plays fits him perfectly. It was directed by a young, talented Taiwanese director, all the casts are just perfect for their characters! It's an adaptation from a Korean movie so it reached the K-lovers audience but at the same time spreads to mainstream people who doesn't even follow hallyu. I don't have any complaints. It's beautiful. I would watch it over and over again.
Current Mood: chipper
01 April 2015 @ 10:09 am
Yesterday EXO released their latest MV which is Call Me Baby and I finally realized where I stand with EXO post-Luhan's exit. I haven't written about it here, last time I only said I was going to stop stanning Luhan at that point because it was too painful.

In October last year I took everything EXO related off my daily life, livejournal notifications, tumblr updates on my phone, I stayed away from anything that reminds me of Lulu for a while. One day I was casually browsing Omona when I saw it : Rumor post of Luhan's exit from EXO. My heart skipped a beat and I did not know what to feel at that point but in my heart, I know the possibility of this rumor coming true is high. Within the next days we got the confirmation that it is true. Everything makes sense now, his hospital visit, his travel arrangement which has been different from other members for a while, his last goodbye on Beijing stage, his swollen face on the last day of the concert .... The puzzles are coming together for me. I did not dwell into the shitstorm as much as I did when Kris left, because as a Luhan stan I know I don't want to face the negativity. Now Lulu is the traitor. Now Lulu is the backstabber who leaves the company after he gains fame. But I do know in my heart that I still want to support the kid.

Soon after, I managed to get over things and accept Lulu and EXO as two different entities and I got back to my normal stanning mode. I follow the news etc, the usual. Lulu was resting a lot, I did not see much of him really, compared to the days he was with EXO. We used to know where he is every goddamn day. I was so relieved when we finally saw him buying coffee in Beijing. I'm happy that he is home. I'm content with the fact that he is now able to make decisions for himself and got his best friend, someone who cares about him a lot, as his manager.

I'm enjoying his cute little updates here and there, and I was SUPER excited that his film was being screened here at local theaters, I went to watch it two times. He's still the cutest and the most precious thing in the world to me. I was excited about EXO's comeback, too. I think the teasers were cool and I purchased the album as soon as it was available on iTunes. That was until yesterday, when they released the MV of Call Me Baby. I immediately watched the MV. I love it. I love the song, the concept, the outfit, the hair, I love everything about it except the fact that Lulu is no longer part of the group. If I were in the stages of grief, I'm in stage three which is bargaining. In my heart I kept thinking "... if only Lulu is still in the group, he would look so cool in these outfits", "... if only Lulu is still in EXO I would be much more interested in this MV and comeback" etc. But you know, I'm a grown ass person and I'm fully aware that Lulu is now happy and safe at home with lots of other cool opportunities and that's just the best for him.

As for EXO, without Lulu in the group I realized that they now had become just another K-Pop boy group to me. If Lulu were still in the group, I would be purchasing both versions, listening to Lulu's parts, following all the news and concerts, downloading the MV and analyzing it frame by frame, purchasing multiple physical copies, making icons of the new teasers and lots of other stan activities. Now, I watched the MV once. It's great, but that's enough for me. I only have digital Korean version of the album and I'm even going to get rid some of the songs that I don't really like without feeling guilty. I do have slight fanatism for SM boy groups, so the excitement level is probably the same as if Super Junior or SHINee has a comeback and the song is good.

Many months ago, I asked myself in my post about Kris's exit, what would I do if Lulu decides to quit EXO, at that time I did not know what I'd do. I did not even want to think of the possibility for it to come true. But now I know. Fandoms, nationality, country, language, nothing really matters to me. I'm a Lulu stan. No matter what he decides to do, I will continue to support him.

(until I found something else to obsess about and I lost interest in him, that is)
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Current Mood: sleepy